A Note to Colton

Colton,

Through the last 10 days you've been here with us at the hospital, going through Cannon's surgery.  But your mommy and I have been consumed with taking care of Cannon: talking to doctors and nurses, trying to make sure all the right decisions are made, all the needed care is given, and that Cannon is as comfortable as possible.  While this has been going on, your grandparents have been taking care of you.  We get to see you every now and then, but for the most part I feel like we're strangers.

The great thing is, you don't seem to mind too much.  Your constant smile and desire to make us laugh have provided much needed moments of stress relief and laughter.  You've been an outstanding kid, rarely complaining and showing perfect behavior... makes your parents very proud.  Thank you for your patience while our family endures this period.  Your understanding has made this much easier, your lack of understanding and selfishness could have made this a much more difficult time.

Every night, you go to the Holiday Inn with your Papa.  He says you're a perfect little boy and so easy to take care of.  In the mornings you get to sleep in as long as you want, and Papa feeds you and brings you to the hospital to join us.  When you get here, you always run up to me and mommy and give us big hugs and kisses to go along with your huge smile.  It's our favorite part of the long days.

When you're here, you obey very well: you have to sit still and be quiet.  At 4 years old, you're doing better than any other I know would be able to do.  You're slow around your brother, being sure not to hurt him.  You look at him with concern in your eyes, and wonder when and if you'll ever get to play with your best friend again.  Of course, we always tell you "soon", and you move on to your next adventure in the hospital room.

You are an athlete already and have tons of energy to burn, and every now and then throughout the day you have to go for a long walk/run to burn off energy.  You usually go with Papa, or Gupa, or Nana on trips through the medical center since there's a constant flow of nurses and doctors for mommy and daddy to talk to.  These trips are always fun, you're always finding interesting things you've never seen before.  When mommy and daddy do finally get to go out with you to pick up dinner or take a walk, you're always eager to show us what you've seen.  You're just an extremely happy kid and we can't thank you enough for your patience through this.

As Cannon gets better, you're able to sit next to him and be funny and laugh with him.  There's not much fun he can do but play video games, and you watch him play like you were watching a movie.  I'm amazed how you watch without complaining too much that it's your turn to play or that you're bored.  You also love to watch a DVD player for a good while, or play with the controls on the bed and make your brother sit in funny positions he doesn't like.  You ask constantly if you can sit in the bed when Cannon's not in it.  I don't blame you: I'm sure it seems that the kid in the bed gets all the attention from his parents and you just want in on the action.

You've done great missing out on attention from your parents.  We're going to give you as much attention as possible and make time for you in every way we can.  Unfortunately it's not going to get much better.  We'll be home in the next couple days and we'll have to get Cannon settled in.  We have to make sure at all times that Cannon is safe from any bumping or lifting or physical activity; all of which will take away from the time we can spend with you.  If that's not bad enough, in a little over a month your little sister will be born.  So my apologies in advance that attention will shift from Cannon to Scout.

I hope you read back on this one day and decide you either don't remember any of this, or you do remember but don't mind because you were having so much fun with your grandparents.  I hope you don't read back on this one day and realize this is why you're so messed up or try to use it as an excuse.  If you find yourself in prison, that's your own fault!

With all the attention Cannon has been getting, I just wanted to take a minute and voice my extreme gratitude to you for your patience despite the lack of attention from your parents, and to let you know that even though Cannon is getting all the attention now, it's in no way a reflection of our love for you.

With love you'll never understand,
Your Mommy and Daddy