Communication

Last night I was taking some more time next to Cannon in the ICU (with all the family here, we do a lot of switching out).  He's been heavily sedated since the surgery to keep his stress level at 0, protect his heart from too much activity, keep him from pulling out his lines, and why not "sleep through the pain".  He's been waking up more and more, looking around for a few seconds and nodding back off.  So we thought.

About 9 PM was 24-25 hours after surgery.  Cannon opened his eyes, noticed I was there and looked at me.  Then his mouth started moving.  All the air going in/out of his lungs goes through a breathing tube, and since that breathing tube goes down his throat past his vocal cords, it's impossible for him to move air past his vocal cords and make a sound.  We've seen his lips move before with his eyes closed and figured he was likely dreaming.  But this time, his eyes were open and he wanted to say something!  We'd already had an instance that he responded to the command to squeeze a hand, which he did very deliberately.  So when I didn't read his lips the first time, I told him I didn't understand and to try again, which he did.  I didn't hear a sound, but it was clear what he was saying: "I hate this place!"  Then his lips contorted and his eyes squeezed into a silent cry.  Wow, this is fun.  So let's look at the bright side: he's communicating effectively.

I told him nobody likes this place, he was doing great, just relax and sleep for now, the surgery is over we just have to recover, motivate motivate, encourage, etc.... Squeeze my hand.  [Squeeze]  I love that trick!

Tori came in soon after this episode and I explained to her what had happened so she'd be prepared.  He had been awake, and he wasn't happy.  We were talking over him across the bed and discussing the details of what was going on.  Things I didn't think I'd want Cannon to hear, but it's OK cuz he's asleep, right?  I thought I better check, so in normal conversational tones I just happened to ask "Cannon, are you awake?"  He opened his eyes and nodded his head.  Now we have an inequality: closed eyes is not equal to sleep.  Sedation seems to make him relax to the point his eyes are closed, but even if the eyes are closed the ears are still open.  Time to filter the conversations!